How to Pray When You Have No Words for God
Quick answer
Say whatever is true, in whatever words you have, for as long as you need to. Prayer is not a performance and it is not graded, so the silence you are worried about is not a failure of faith but an ordinary part of praying to someone who already knows what you cannot say. This page is written for the person who has tried to pray, found nothing, and concluded that they was doing it wrong. Zion Worship Centre London is a Pentecostal church on Lewisham High Street, charity number 1199496, and we are led by Senior Pastor Reverend Dianne Namara Ntale. The three words we hold everything together with are Deliverance. Healing. Restoration.
Why the silence feels like failure
Most of us were taught that prayer has a shape, and that the shape is the point. There is something reassuring about knowing roughly what comes next, and the trouble is that most of the reassuring explanations quietly assume you already know what you want. When you are frightened, or ashamed, or simply exhausted, wanting something specific is not always available, and a person who cannot produce a neat request begins to suspect that the whole thing is not working.
That suspicion is worth examining honestly rather than arguing away. Plenty of what is called prayer really is an attempt to negotiate with God, and when the negotiation does not go the way we wanted it can feel like the door closing. It helps to remember that the person we are addressing is not a stranger with a switchboard, and that He is not waiting for a well constructed case before He pays attention.
What actually helps when the words will not come
There is no technique here that works every time, but there are a few things that reliably make it easier to begin. The first is to stop aiming for a prayer and simply describe the day. The second is to stop waiting for emotion, because feeling usually arrives after the words rather than before them. The third is to let the silence be part of it, which sounds impractical until you notice how much of the Bible is spent sitting quietly in front of God.
| What people try | What usually happens | What we suggest instead |
|---|---|---|
| Waiting for the right words to arrive. | Nothing arrives, and the attempt is abandoned. | Begin with the day itself. “Today was difficult and I am tired of pretending it was not.” |
| Borrowing somebody else’s prayer. | It sounds right and feels entirely false. | Use your own words, however rough. Honesty is the only part that cannot be imitated. |
| Trying to feel something spiritual first. | Nothing is felt, so the praying is abandoned. | Pray anyway, flatly. Feelings usually follow, sometimes much later. |
| Believing the silence means no. | The doubt is taken as the answer and never tested. | Pray the doubt out loud. Doubt raised honestly is not disobedience. |
What we will not claim about prayer
We are careful here, because the alternative damages people who are genuinely struggling and have been given a promise that could not possibly be kept. So this is the honest boundary of what a church can say about prayer.
- We cannot promise a particular outcome, or tell you that a request will be granted on a date we are able to announce.
- We will not tell you that a lack of prayer means a lack of faith, because plenty of faithful people cannot pray when they most need to.
- We will not tell you that you must feel something in order for it to count, since feelings are not a condition anyone has the right to impose.
- We will not suggest that a difficult outcome was a failure of technique on your part.
What we can say is that we will pray with you, honestly and without any expectation that you produce the right words first. The Intercession Department of this church exists for precisely that purpose, and the Online Prayer Altar listed on our services page is open to you whether or not you ever set foot in the building.
Questions worth asking us
What if I only want prayer and nothing else?
Then that is all you will get. Ask for nothing more at any point, and nobody will follow you afterwards attempting to convert a prayer request into an invitation to something else. Come once, receive prayer, and go home without anyone making you feel you owe them a return visit.
Do I have to be a Christian to pray?
No. We have never asked anyone to believe something first as a condition of being prayed for. You are welcome to bring your uncertainty, your irritation, and your honest doubts, all of which are considerably more useful to God than a performance would be.
What if I have hurt someone and cannot forgive them?
Then bring that, exactly as it is. We will not ask you to forgive as a condition of prayer, and we will not ask you to pretend the injury did not happen. Forgiveness given under pressure is not forgiveness, and insisting on it early does more damage than waiting.
Can I ask for something for someone else?
Yes, and it is often the easiest place to start when your own praying feels stuck. Our Welfare Ministry carries practical needs as well as spiritual ones, and you can bring somebody else’s situation to God without any awkwardness about it at all.
Where is the church, if I want to come?
132 Lewisham High Street, London SE13 6EE, which you can find on the find us page before travelling so that you are not relying only on a description we wrote ourselves.
Begin badly, and that is genuinely enough
Almost everybody who prays badly for a long time has been told at some point that they were doing it correctly all along, and it is worth saying plainly that they were probably not. You are allowed to begin in the wrong tone, with the wrong words, in the wrong order, and still be praying. A great deal of the Bible is occupied with people who came to God badly and were met anyway.
If you would like us to pray with you, or simply want to ask something you have not put into words yet, then write to us or call in during the week, and you will not be asked to have it tidied up first. Deliverance. Healing. Restoration. is a description of what God has promised to do, not a condition that you must meet before He will listen, and this page is written on the assumption that you are somewhere nearer the beginning than the end.
